Some days I look at my children, especially when they’re fighting, and I worry about their futures, especially their relationships with each other!
Between us, hubby and I have 6 brothers and 4 sisters, yet neither of us are close with our siblings, and it makes me sad to think that one day, that could be my children. The children have 22 cousins, but could probably only name 6! Once they were even at a park playing and one of the other children there was their cousin, but they didn’t know!
How sad is that!
I won’t go into details as to why we’re not close and I admit that some of the fault is ours as well as theirs, but that doesn’t stop me worrying about my children. I want them to be close when they grow up, even if they move miles apart, I want them to be so close they can’t go a week without phoning to check-up on each other.
I look at two of my best friends, who happen to be sisters, and I see how close they are with each other and their brother. That’s how I want my children to be with each other! The two sisters spend nearly every day together and two of their daughters (the ones that are the closest in age) are more like sisters than cousins! Whenever they’re together, you can see the love and affection they have for each other, even with their brother! Despite all the teasing and the constant fraping of their facebook accounts by their brother (which usually involve poo in one way or another!)
Isn’t it sad, that even as adults, sibling rivalry doesn’t go away! Why are we still jealous of our siblings or feel hard done by? Why do we still feel like our parents favour one of us over the other? Surely as adults we should be able to put petty jealousy aside and be affectionate with our siblings, looking out for them, being there for them, defending them and generally treating each other the way we expect our children to treat each other!
I have another friend and her mother is really sad and doesn’t see some of her grandchildren that often, despite living in the same town. All because one of her children got jealous of another and accused the mother of favouring that child’s child more than theirs! All because of a little jealousy and accusations which aren’t true, a grandmother is seperated from her grandchildren. They miss seeing and knowing her, and she misses seeing and loving them. One day it will be too late, the mother won’t be around anymore and those children will have missed out on knowing a special lady and having an irreplaceable relationship. Not to mention that siblings are divided and cousins don’t know each other yet will be in the same school!
When I was a child, I often felt that my mum favoured my brother more than she did me, that he was her favourite and given special treatment or that his side was taken more than mine in an argument. Yet I know he felt it was the other way around, and that because I was the baby (and daddy’s little girl) I got away with murder! Yet if you spoke to my parents they would say they treated us the same and they probably did!
So I watch my children grow, I try not to take sides or to appear to favour one over the other (which can be hard not to appear, even when you’re not) and I pray that when they grow up, they will all be close, just like my friends’ are!